It’s been two years since I was in hospital, two years since my last flare up, two years since I had a day off sick. There’s a part of me that loves remembering that, I mean I was worried I’d just be yo-yoing in and out of hospital for the rest of my life and that my adventurous days were behind me. Both of which have turned out to be wrong. There is though a part of me that worries that my meds aren’t actually working and all I’m currently doing is living in the eye of the storm. I mean I’m on immunosuppressant’s yet I don’t really catch a cold, in my work I come into contact with ill people every day but I’m fine. There’s a part of me that knows I only think like this because I’m searching for a reason as to why I’ve been so lucky with my health in the last two years. I mean I see my friends going through flares that won’t relent or who require surgery to get their lives back. I’m just left wondering when is it going to be my turn again?
The pessimist in me sees every little stomach twinge as a sign of a flare coming on until the realist kicks in and tells me I’m just dehydrated or have eaten something I shouldn’t. But in those moments where I become a hypochondriac I worry that I haven’t made the most of my healthier years. Which I know isn’t true as I’ve done so many things that I never imagined I’d do and all BECAUSE of IBD but when will it be enough? I mean I’m training to cycle the 1000 mile length of Great Britain in June and possibly cycle from London to Paris within 24hours straight afterwards. But after that will the fear that motivates me be satisfied? For a while it will be but soon enough I know I will need to start looking at something bigger and better to do. It’s human nature that once you conquer one mountain you belittle your achievements to motivate yourself to climb a bigger one.
I keep telling myself that I’ll never be satisfied with my adventurous achievements until I cycle the world BECAUSE of IBD. This view was crystallised when a gastro doctor told me recently that my type of Crohn’s is prone strictures and surgery. Looking back I know he was only doing cheap reverse diagnosis i.e. my Crohn’s has given me a stricture for which I required surgery thus I am prone to strictures and surgeries. However when I heard those words my first instinctive thought was “Dam I need to start cycling the world soon!”
I might not be able to cycle the world for numerous reasons or due to the perceived hurdles I dream up but I know that as long as I continue my optimism by planning future adventures and keep aiming at things that once seemed impossible then I know that what I am doing will be enough!
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On 31st May 2014 I will start my 1000 mile cycle the length of Great Britain. I will be doing this BECAUSE of Crohn’s to make the most of my better health but also to raise money for Crohn’s and Colitis UK.
It would be great if you could sponsor me www.justgiving.com/ForEveryIBD
You can also follow my cycle and send your words of encouragement here: 
On facebook: The Chronic Adventurer
On twitter: @ForEveryIBD
The Chronic Adventurer 
Thanks for this encouraging post. I’ve been flare free for 5 or 6 months and I can identify with that go-to reaction of ‘OMG I’m flaring!!’ any time there’s a tiny twinge in my gut. I can’t wait to reach the 1 year mark, 2-year mark and (hopefully!) the ‘I can’t remember when last’ mark.
Funny thing, chronic disease – it’s so different for everyone. My mom was diagnosed with Graves Disease about 8 years ago. However, for the past several years there’s been no sign of it – this after a doctor wanted to destroy her thyroid gland and she refused.
One can only do one’s best, and it sounds like you certainly are. Those of us who care enough about our bodies to manage our IBD through diet, exercise and clean living aren’t guaranteed to be healthy, but there’s a good chance we can be – and we deserve it!
All the best for your great adventures – keep pushing!
Debby
I have to admit it has felt strange to celebrate such a milestone especially when being well is something so many take for granted. I really hope you get your wish of reaching the ‘I can’t remember’ mark but I kind of like remembering to remind myself not to take my health for granted but I know what you mean. Sorry to hear about your mum but glad it’s not currently affecting her. Here’s hoping we all have many more milestones to celebrate!